I need to save this article. To remind myself of the man I want to be (and that’s a daily reminder). And to put in front of my 3 children when their time comes.
As a young woman this is so refreshing to hear. Thankfully I’m dating a very good man who is wise beyond his years and clearly belongs amongst the few men who plants his foundations in God above all else
This is such good wise advice - not just for young women, but also for young men thinking about what to aim for. As a parent of both boys and girls I’m saving this!
You likely won’t stop any marriages with this article, but you will probably encourage more divorces by women who experience this article as another reason for them to “try again for a better man.” Women are told over and over again that if marriage doesn’t feel right then they have a free pass to try again. Until this obvious dynamic is addressed, things are going to just get worse.
Mr Pleasance, I disagree. I am currently unmarried and seeking a spouse and Mr Wood's article has caused me to rethink things with the young man I'm currently seeing who is kind and biblically knowledgeable but who lacks authority figures in his life. Your comment may be true but the spirit of it is discouraging.
R.C. The holy spirit is working through this article and it’s good for you to question if the man you’re choosing is Gods plan or your own. I pray God reveals the answer to you. Sharing my own experience, I gave my life and entire youth to an unmoored man. That is what God has revealed to me through my healing. I will never again be with a man that has not submitted to God.
R.C. - I have a 25 year old married daughter with a seven month old son. I will speak to you in a tone that reflects the example I set for her (crudely, but I did set it).
Your primary task is to become the kind of person who can honor God in the context of marriage. And honoring God in marriage includes large amounts of “putting to death” your evil and ignorant desires, so that they can be replaced by God honoring desires. This is not said enough, but it is true.
I have met with catastrophe in my marriage, yet it is not the end - I get to honor God, and render my duty to Him, in-spite of this catastrophe. There are days when my footsteps are heavy, but there are many when they are light because I did not betray my first love, because of some predictable earthly sins.
It is right and good to obey God. Go forward, be fruitful, and multiply in accordance with the wisdom God has given us. Your goal is not temporal perfection but rather a striving for God. Be encouraged as you endeavor to pick this up and carry it to the finish line.
What if you're already married to a man like this? He appeared to be a godly man, and now I've left the marital home for my own safety. He says he wants reconciliation, but won't go to therapy or submit to the men in the church. I don't know what to do next.
I’m not sure what the person below is getting at, but you are not in prison. God gave us free will. If you are not safe in your home, that is cause to leave, permanently if needed. If your husband won’t get help, that is a red flag he doesn’t truly want to change. Many abusers have a pattern of “reconciliation,” but usually go on to be abusive again. This is not a man who is truly committed to God or to a healthy marriage and it is not your work to make him change. It’s not flighty or uncommitted for you to value your own wellbeing by leaving. Ask for help from your community. God loves you, sister. May you be blessed.
What advice would you give to someone in prison? Sometimes we don't have any choices. The only thing we can control is not what we do but how we endure.
In short, I'm very sorry you're in this situation, and you have all my empathy. I'm planning on writing a book on this very topic but it'll be years from now before it's done and I'm afraid that in those years to come you'll have to go through some of the greatest suffering a woman can go through. The only hope I can give you is that the Bible was written for people like you, those suffering, those without choices.
I need to save this article. To remind myself of the man I want to be (and that’s a daily reminder). And to put in front of my 3 children when their time comes.
God knew I needed this article. Thank you so much for writing it!
🫡
As a young woman this is so refreshing to hear. Thankfully I’m dating a very good man who is wise beyond his years and clearly belongs amongst the few men who plants his foundations in God above all else
This makes so much sense. Thank you for writing and sharing.
Thanks for reading!!
This is such good wise advice - not just for young women, but also for young men thinking about what to aim for. As a parent of both boys and girls I’m saving this!
You likely won’t stop any marriages with this article, but you will probably encourage more divorces by women who experience this article as another reason for them to “try again for a better man.” Women are told over and over again that if marriage doesn’t feel right then they have a free pass to try again. Until this obvious dynamic is addressed, things are going to just get worse.
Mr Pleasance, I disagree. I am currently unmarried and seeking a spouse and Mr Wood's article has caused me to rethink things with the young man I'm currently seeing who is kind and biblically knowledgeable but who lacks authority figures in his life. Your comment may be true but the spirit of it is discouraging.
R.C. The holy spirit is working through this article and it’s good for you to question if the man you’re choosing is Gods plan or your own. I pray God reveals the answer to you. Sharing my own experience, I gave my life and entire youth to an unmoored man. That is what God has revealed to me through my healing. I will never again be with a man that has not submitted to God.
R.C. - I have a 25 year old married daughter with a seven month old son. I will speak to you in a tone that reflects the example I set for her (crudely, but I did set it).
Your primary task is to become the kind of person who can honor God in the context of marriage. And honoring God in marriage includes large amounts of “putting to death” your evil and ignorant desires, so that they can be replaced by God honoring desires. This is not said enough, but it is true.
I have met with catastrophe in my marriage, yet it is not the end - I get to honor God, and render my duty to Him, in-spite of this catastrophe. There are days when my footsteps are heavy, but there are many when they are light because I did not betray my first love, because of some predictable earthly sins.
It is right and good to obey God. Go forward, be fruitful, and multiply in accordance with the wisdom God has given us. Your goal is not temporal perfection but rather a striving for God. Be encouraged as you endeavor to pick this up and carry it to the finish line.
What if it's too late, you are already married to the less than ideal man?
What if you're already married to a man like this? He appeared to be a godly man, and now I've left the marital home for my own safety. He says he wants reconciliation, but won't go to therapy or submit to the men in the church. I don't know what to do next.
Sofia Impellizzeri
Sofia Impellizzeri
just now
I’m not sure what the person below is getting at, but you are not in prison. God gave us free will. If you are not safe in your home, that is cause to leave, permanently if needed. If your husband won’t get help, that is a red flag he doesn’t truly want to change. Many abusers have a pattern of “reconciliation,” but usually go on to be abusive again. This is not a man who is truly committed to God or to a healthy marriage and it is not your work to make him change. It’s not flighty or uncommitted for you to value your own wellbeing by leaving. Ask for help from your community. God loves you, sister. May you be blessed.
Thank you, sister.
Would someone give me some advice?
What advice would you give to someone in prison? Sometimes we don't have any choices. The only thing we can control is not what we do but how we endure.
In short, I'm very sorry you're in this situation, and you have all my empathy. I'm planning on writing a book on this very topic but it'll be years from now before it's done and I'm afraid that in those years to come you'll have to go through some of the greatest suffering a woman can go through. The only hope I can give you is that the Bible was written for people like you, those suffering, those without choices.
Saving this to my saved posts
1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.